The Light Who Got Lost

Walking down this hallway,

Feeling the euphoria that has no end,

It’s running through my veins,

Seeing these twinkles from their lips,

Hearing those oddly hoots,

And caresses that cause tremblings

And she was glad to see them happy,

Making memories like it was the last

Walking down this hallway,

Hoping this misery to come to an end,

It’s right inside my head,

Starting to look everything black like a blind,

Grief is everywhere that makes me deaf,

And caresses that are petrifying

And everything went dark,

And she was lost

Her own light could not guide her,

Everyone went missing,

She has nowhere to go,

So dark, silent and lonely

In the middle of oblivion,

She asked herself,

“I gave light to everyone else around me, but how come I could not give light even just a little to guide myself?”

August 1, 2018

And I’ll never go back..

Everything just turned upside down.

I knew it was going to happen, but i chose to hold on even if the one I’m holding onto already let go of me.

Sorry if I was not enough for you, for not being​ the girl you’ve always dreamt​ of. 

Sorry if I could not swim along with you, that you left me drowning in the deep ocean.

Sorry if I have loved you so much that you did not know how to return it back.

Sorry if I could not relate to the kind of music you listen to but I promise, I tried.

Sorry if I was too patient that you forgot someone was waiting for you.

Sorry if i trusted you so much that made you comfortable cheating on me.

Sorry if I was too sensitive that I felt all the pain you gave, but decided to keep those to myself.

Sorry if I chose to run after you even if I know you were already far away.

Sorry if I was too selfish that i chose to give everything and save nothing for myself.

This time, sorry if I decided to let go, not because I have given up but rather, the one I’m fighting for, is the one who killed me.

And finally, thank you for killing my heart and soul, for I was able to rise and open my eyes that I don’t deserve someone like you, because without you, I will never be the strong person I am today who can look straight into your eyes and say “You can never hurt me again.”

Everything started with “Hey”

Those immense, dazzling and vivacious smile of yours

I was totally trapped and hooked

Fantasies that rapidly turned into reality

Everything felt so unrealistic

Kind of dream I was ever waiting for

So please don’t wake me up

For I am happy with where I am now

Until I fell into the painful reality

I was the girl who never conquered your heart

Kind of girl physically in front of you

But never in your mind nor in your heart

For I am with you right now

But I am not you’re thinking about

Are you really in love

With Me or with your best friend?

Just another stitched-heart day..

There’s nothing more heart-breaking than knowing that you still love her. It sucks that we’ve already been together for a year yet your mind has always been into her, it really sucks in my part. I’m totally perplexed if I’d still hold onto what we have because I’m terrified of being brokenhearted and I still really love you or just let go of you and let myself go to another’s arm who would totally give me a warmer and tighter hug and love me as much as I do. Sometimes, I feel that you’re taking me for granted, don’t you notice it? You’re ruining what you have in your present just for that stupid “past-girl” you actually never really had. At the end of the day, I am still hoping that there will be a time that you would let yourself move on and forget about it and recognize and appreciate your present.

It Happens…

The Significant Other


It happens.
To those who keep changing its lairs.
The heart beating fearfully,
the heart bursting with gladness.
It changes.
Every now and then.
Darkness falls and it suddenly sees the light.
Sunshine hides and it suddenly feels its shadows.
Silence is everywhere,
yet voices keep hollering inside its head.
The sound of laughter is getting near,
yet it cannot taste happiness.
What is happiness to begin with?
It asks.
But tears of pain slowly slide away.
How is sadness felt?
But its smile eventually turns to guffaws.
Jump up, slow down.
Breathe not, make a frown.
Everything changes.
Its hue. Its substance.
No one knows what it is thinking.
And it knows not where it will be heading next.
It happens.
It’s real.
But who gives a shit about it?
No one.
Because no one understands.

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You never asked me

Then again, hiding my feelings. Nothing’s new. You never asked me how I feel today, was it pretty good, bad or just fine? I just feel so confused about you. You were so cold, I’ve waited so long for your super short and non-sense replies. It wasn’t really the reason why I’m upset. I asked you, “Are you okay, why are you like that? Are you busy or something?” You told me, you have a lot of problems to fix and things to do. But then, you told me you were upset about your girl-bestfriend-that-now-became-your-enemy. I knew it at first. You never moved on about her. You’ve always been into her even though you’re mine. You never asked me how I feel whenever you talk to her or anything. How come you could ask her how she is feeling, send her random messages, ask her to hangout but me, your “someone special”, you never did. I wish I was as special as her. I feel so lost. I don’t want to give up, because I know that someday he’ll realize I’m the one for him and not that girl who left him hanging.

I never told him because he never asked me.